November 25, 2016 is the day I turned 23.
November 28, 2016 is the day I got my very first tattoo.
Before you come into any conclusions as you read this, my story is not over yet.
And that is the motto of the very important project that I am now forever part of.
That is the Semicolon Project.
I didn’t want this tattoo to show off with narcissism or wanting to be part of the cool group of assholes. In fact, I didn’t even want this.
I need this. I need this to help me become a stronger person.
By the time I turned 23, I realized that I needed to make a big change in my life. After battling major depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, self injury and suicide, I look into the mirror in my bathroom and I still couldn’t believe that I am still alive.
I was so close to suicide, I nearly brought pain to not only myself but to all of my loved ones. Depression and BPD are so severe for me, it cost me my skin that is now forever covered with self-mutilated scars that can never be removed. I suffered from financial issues, I suffered loneliness, I suffered from multitudinous abuse, betrayal and even neglect.
Going back in time, I noticed that I had to take action and put myself into taking Lexapro. Ever since I swallowed my very first pill, I’ve never felt any better in my life.
Again, my story is not over yet.
When I heard about the Semicolon Project, its impact became so notable that I had to be part of it. Before designing my first tattoo, the semicolon was not enough to me, so I had to add butterfly wings as well.
Yes, you guessed it.
It’s a Semicolon Project and a Butterfly Project.
Prior to my permanent resignation from cutting myself, I tried the Butterfly Project and sadly, it was not enough for me due to the marker wanting to fade away, not the scars. I wanted to make it permanent and to make sure I never lay a sharp object on my skin again.
That is how I came up with a semicolon butterfly tattoo on my wrist. It will forever remain on my skin until I die of natural causes. It will forever remind me to never cut again, to never commit suicide, and to stay strong.
I know that I am not the only one who came up with this idea.
I’m sure that everyone else has the semicolon butterfly on their wrists as well, prior or after I got mines.
We are never alone.
Our story is never over yet.
-Nicole Cheng, © 2016
“Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect.” -Demi Lovato