Ever since in my early twenties, I started taking medications to treat my mental health. I didn’t have a choice, it was necessary for me.
Throughout my irrational years in high school and college, I went through numerous manic episodes, hostilities, and even depression. It wasn’t until somewhere in my third year in college, I decided to seek help from professionals after a myriad of trips to the guidance counselors’ offices. Talking to the schools’ guidance counselors were not enough for me, so they recommended me to this clinic where they specialize mental health.
After talking to my therapists about my symptoms, I decided to seek diagnoses from psychiatrists in that same clinic.
That was when my life changed drastically–this became a life-changer for me.
According to my psychiatrist, I found out that I have both borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder (both diagnosed from separate years). I was shocked and in denial at first, but then after a few years later, I maturely learned to accept my diagnoses.
Being both borderline and bipolar are something that I cannot control by myself.
Even though there are no cures for both of these mental illnesses, I became relieved when I found out that there is treatment of these two mental conditions. The thing is–the only treatments for both borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder are medications and interpersonal therapy.
From the beginning, I was reluctant about having to take antidepressants and antipsychotics to treat my mental health; I worried that I would be addicted to them. It turned out that it didn’t make me addicted once I took a dose of each pill, one for every day to be precise. About a week later, everything alleviated.
Ever since then, I became obeisant with taking my daily medications. It was for the best. Aside with the daily doses, I also sought help from my therapists. That, I never minded because once I found the perfect therapists to work with, everything became okay. Therapy really helped; all it takes is finding the correct compatibility between the two of us. Every week, I talk to my therapist. The more I speak to them, the better and more relieved I became.
Then, suddenly got even better.
My weekly sessions with my therapist turned to bi-weekly. It’s because of the medications I have been taking daily as according to schedule and dosage, in which my mental health ameliorated. That gave me the decision to make my sessions to every two weeks instead now that my mental health is no longer severe enough to have weekly sessions. I became better every day.
Along with having both borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, I also suffer from insomnia. I told my psychiatrist about my insomnia as well during our sessions. I told them that I don’t want any strong sleeping pills, such as Ambien, because I worry that I may never wake up from that after reading The Bell Jar many times. The psychiatrist recommended these antidepressants that also work as sleeping pills. I took that as well, and ever since then, I have been sleeping the correct amount of hours per night. I no longer suffer from any daytime sleepiness or any two-to-three hour naps during the afternoon. I became more focused and alert during my classes and working freelance from home. Everything turned out great for me.
These medications became life-savers for me: Lexapro for my depression and borderline personality disorder; Risperdal for my bipolar disorder; and Trazodone for my insomnia. They all saved my life as well as my mental health. I no longer suffer from suicidal ideations, unlike in high school and college. I still talk to my therapist every bi-weekly. I still sought help from my psychiatrist every three months to make sure I’m okay.
I even performed my own self-care regimens during my leisure times. I have this theory that too much screen time may be the source of my mental health issues. Instead of being obsessively on social media and watching YouTube videos all the time, I do screen-free activities in the comfort of my home, which are reading books, knitting, cuddling my cat, and, of course, writing.
Whenever I’m off-screen, I feel even more alleviated. No manic episodes, no depression, no toxicity between me and other people online, nothing like that. With all my veracity, I’m glad that I chose to touch grass instead of being online at all times. I’m glad that I only use social media occasionally and only for promoting my writing work instead of socializing. I’m glad enough that my life became better without social media. I want to stick to that for life.
Yes, I still take my medications every day as per dosage according to my psychiatrist. Aside with my prescriptions, I also take vitamins daily since I don’t eat meat except for fish; I also take over-the-counter antihistamines to treat my allergies to grass, trees, flowers, and lawn weeds that I happen to live nearby.
I am not ashamed for taking what I need to treat myself better for the sake of my mental health. I am not ashamed of having to take medications. I know that there are other people out there who do as well, so I am not the only one.
As long as I persist taking my daily doses, I will always be okay.