Aside from my struggles of mental health issues throughout these years, I experienced something more horrifying than having manic episodes. This would be hard for me to explain as I write about this, albeit I experienced being a victim of stalking throughout high school.
Suffice to say, it was terrifying. Beyond terrifying to say the least.
It started off in high school. I was in my sophomore year and that was when it all started.
In one of my classes, there was a student sitting all the way at the back of the classroom. From what I recalled, he had some anger issues and constantly complaining aloud that this particular required class is the waste of his time. He was also yelling at other students for no particular reason at all. He screamed out that he was in a bad mood all the time. I became afraid of him.
Suddenly, when I answered a question the teacher asked the class, he called out aloud, and I complained about him answering the question before me. He then laughed maliciously out loud and then the next thing I knew…
He threatened to kill me. He said that out loud, loud enough for the entire class to hear. There were gasps coming from other classmates, but other than that, no one did anything.
When I heard his threat against me, I was left crying in front of my other classmates, especially the teacher. I then went up to the teacher about it, and the teacher told me that they would do anything to report this.
While my classmates were asking me if I was okay, that particular classmate was just entirely reckless and he never even regretted what he said to me. He then got louder and continued to threaten me. Even though my classmates defended me, they didn’t do much to save me since they thought that he was joking.
That was when I decided to report him, because I was afraid enough that his threats were real. I went to the guidance counselor’s office to report what happened in that class. The guidance counselor then went to the dean’s office and reported it for me.
It turned out that he never got suspended from that. Instead, the dean forced him to apologize to me. Judging by his eye roll, I could tell that he didn’t mean it at all. He was then let out as a warning.
This is where the most terrifying part started.
After that entire ordeal… that classmate ended up stalking me in school. He followed me everywhere I went, he stalked me in my current classes, he even stalked me on my bus ride home from school.
I then became irrationally afraid that he would do things to me. I was afraid that he would go as far as killing me for real or even worse; something that is too beyond words to describe what he would do to me if we were ever alone somewhere on the school grounds.
I never bothered to report this since the last ordeal we had back at that mutual class we had. I was afraid that people, including the guidance counselors and the dean, would perceive this as a joke, when it really wasn’t. I just reluctantly ignored him, hoping that he would leave me alone. It ended by the time I reached my senior year and he left the school permanently.
However, being stalked didn’t stop there.
Starting off from the middle of my sophomore year in high school, I fell victim to online stalking.
It all began when a group of students I tried to be friends with since the beginning started hating me for no reason. They hated me for being annoying and attention-seeking, whereas I am neither of those. I wasn’t being annoying, I was just being myself. And I wasn’t seeking attention either, I honestly had no idea where they got that idea of myself being an attention-seeker, I truly didn’t do anything like that. To sum everything up, these group of students just despised me for being intelligent, sesquipedalian, and surpassing them in classes, whereas they were the opposite of that.
Suddenly, this happened.
When I went home from school, I decided to check Facebook despite that I hardly used that social media platform due to my lack of interest for social media that time.
That was when I found out something shocking.
I found out that these same group of students made a hate page about me on Facebook. It was titled “Anti-Nicole Cheng.” In spite of my reluctance to go to that page about me, I decided to go through out of inquisitiveness.
As I read through that page, I realized that they publicly revealed my entire personal information for the entire school to see. They revealed my full name, including my middle name that I never revealed to anyone else. They revealed my address. They revealed my phone number. All that kind of personal information, in which I had no idea where they got them. I already assumed that they went as far as following me home from school, or, worst, they went through my confidential information that they were forbidden to go through in the school records. They even went as far as revealing my allergies to most plants when I had horticulture as a required science class… and they revealed my sexual attraction to other girls after I kissed a girl on the lips, even though I was not ready to come out of the closet that time. It was horrifying.
Apart from all that personal information being publicly revealed to the entire school, I even went through the comments on that hate page about me. They were all negative. They said that I’m the most annoying person in school; they called me a skeleton with skin when they found out that I had anorexia nervosa; they said something very homophobic about me; they even went as far as forcing me to kill myself because nobody liked me. They even created a Facebook petition to force me to commit suicide.
They were really that obsessed with hating me up until the point where they tried to get me to kill myself and then get away with it all.
I was left in hysterics. It truly was the most terrifying and traumatic experience I have ever encountered in high school.
Because of all this, I stayed home from school for about a week. I was too humiliated and traumatized to show up at school because of that page and petition about me. I was fearing for my life. Throughout my weeklong absence from school, I hid in my bedroom with my windows closed and covered as I tried not to think of the worst. I was afraid that they would come to my house and do things to me that I’m still too terrified to explain. I was even scared that they would peep through my windows and then watch me do my daily routines, hence the reason for closing all blinds and curtains. I was truly fearing for my life in the most severe case.
I stayed away from social media ever since that Facebook page came into the picture throughout the entire week. But then, an absent week later (after when I took a dose of Tylenol to ease the pain), I decided to check that page again despite the reluctance within, in hope that it would be over.
That was when I found out that that page about me has been removed due to terms of violation in the Facebook community. Even that online petition about me to commit suicide was removed as well. Even better, the students who were responsible for creating that hate page about me got their Facebook accounts permanently deactivated for violations. I was later relieved that happened.
When that Facebook page was gone, I decided to go back to school. By the time I stepped through the doors, everyone became relieved that I was okay and still alive. Most of them actually felt sorry for me when they read that page and that they were all worried that I would do something drastic to myself. They even reported those suspects to the principal, dean, and even the police. I’m honestly not sure what happened to those suspects who were responsible for creating that public Facebook page about me, but all that mattered that time was that I was still okay.
This entire ordeal with being stalked in high school inspired me something to share. I wrote a short story titled Broken Glass, which is heavily based on this entire experience I’ve encountered in real life. As soon as I published that short story, it became a sensation. It made me realize that there are other students out there who experienced bullying, stalking in both the real world and on social media, and it even brought awareness to teenage suicide. I became ecstatic of how this short story of mines helped shed some light on those with mutual experiences and it even became the main topic of suicide prevention. I never knew writing about this would bring several awarenesses to what I’ve been through in the real world.
My intention with this material is to shed more light on helping others who were bullied and stalked in either the real world or on social media. It is meant to bring awareness on how much bullying and stalking can impact the victims’ mental health, such as I.
My goal with my short story, Broken Glass, is to let people know that they are never alone. With all due veracity and audacity, any kind of severe bullying and stalking is meant to be reported as soon as possible, regardless how big or small it is, even when they are joking or serious. It is meant to bring awareness on how much these types of crimes can impact one’s mental health status. It is meant to show how a certain type of obsession can lead to a crime.
I am now no longer the victim of an abhorrent obsession. I fought my way to combat this. I am now not afraid to show my face to share this personal experience.
By the time this gets published, I will still fight my way to prevent any of this from happening ever again.