- Bullying (in person and cyber)- Everyone I know at my age hated me just for being me. Not only was the bullying emotional, it was physical. I was pushed down on the ground all my life. I was even pushed down the stairs by one of my classmates and my teacher never bothered or cared about asking me if I was okay. I even know what it was like to be called a “bitch” in Facebook and I was thisclose to ending my own life over the five-lettered B-word.
- Teacher abuse- My 1st grade teacher called me “retarded” and she nearly broke my arm when she went physical against me… And all I was doing was trying my best to do my work. Several of my other teachers even touched me as they yell and cursed at me. I was too afraid to open up due to the trauma. I was too afraid to come to school as a kid. I wanted to fake my illness so I wouldn’t have to go. Not only I was deathly afraid of being bullied by my classmates, I was deathly afraid of my abusive teachers.
- Child abuse- I was locked in the closet as a kind of punishment. At times, it was for no reason at all. My older cousins have harmed me in so many ways. I had a scar in my head when I was a kid and I was too afraid to admit that to my parents. I nearly had broken bones under my skin. I had a bruises that none of my parents ever noticed or even asked where they came from.
- Dating abuse- My first experience was in the 8th grade and all I can say is that even emotions can be really violent between me and my ex-partner. There was even more emotional dating abuse in my previous relationships. I’m not going to mention names albeit on my last breakup, shit got even worst when I threatened my last ex on the text message that I wanted to punch him and then ki__ myself.
- Friendship abuse- This was the reason why I have no friends in person. Everyone I hanged out with were not my friends at all. They hated me behind my back and they would go into extremes by pushing my towards the ground and leave me to die. Even my childhood friend whom I broke up with several years ago. She was so manipulative that she would pull threats against me if I didn’t do anything she said. She even nearly pushed me down the train tracks and she never gave a shit about it.
- Alcohol abuse- I used to turn to alcohol to wash all of the pain away. I even used alcohol poisoning as one of my suicide attempts in the past.
- Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
- Depression
- Suicide- I have had multiple suicidal thoughts in the past. I even attempted one before and I was able to pull through. I survived.
- Self-Injury- I would cut myself to make the pain go away, only to find out that the pain is only temporary though scars are eternal and can never fade away.
I may be the girl with many fears, but nothing is stopping me from being fearless.
I may be the girl with a traumatic past, but I refuse to let my haunted past interfere with my life.
I may have suffer from nearly all types of abuse growing up, which led to my depression, BPD, PTSD, self-injury and certain suicide attempts, but I will keep fighting for myself.
Overall, I am a fighter, not a victim.