The first impression that I want to give people is that I made a personal choice to live an unconventional life.
My unconventional life is to never get married and to never have any children of my own.
After all the atrocious breakups I’ve experienced in the past due to being in more toxic relationships than I thought, I chose to never date again. My only great relationship I’ve ever had was with my last girlfriend prior to our mutual agreement to stay as platonic friends, which is just enough for me. I don’t need to be in a sexual or romantic relationship to keep me elated for life.
To be honest, sex was the worst experience I’ve ever had. I lost my libido from my prescriptive medications, but I’m fine with that. I personally abhor having sex with anyone. Imperatively, I do not want to be reminded of my post-traumatic stress from being sexually abused by my cousin when I was four years old and from being forced to have sex with my toxic ex-boyfriends. I became asexual because of this. So, sex is now the last thing I’ve ever want, in which I have no plans to date anyone ever again.
Due to my sudden personal decision to remain single, I even chose to never get married. I don’t want to go through the legal process of marriage and I have no plans to legally change my name. It’s just too much for me and it is not me at all. Plus, I do not want to entire spotlight should I ever get married at my own wedding; I hate being the center of attention. I personally don’t want a spouse like anyone else. I’m just too independent to have one. It’s too traditional and I perceive myself as a nonconformist. I don’t need any of that to keep me happy, coming from someone who has been an anti-social introverted loner all their life.
Aside with it all, I also made a crucial decision to never have kids. Ever since my diagnoses for borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, I have come into realization that I am not mentally fit to become a parent. The last thing I want is to endanger my kids with abandonment, neglect, and abuse from my manic episodes, hence the reasoning behind why I am never having any children of my own. I also don’t want any kids to be expose to this current environment and other omnipresent societal issues.
I personally don’t want to have to experience pregnancy. I fear that my medications can hazardously affect it. I can survive nine months without any alcohol now that I’m a teetotaler. Unfortunately, because of my addiction to caffeine and vaping electronic cigarettes, I couldn’t yet overcome them as my habits are incorrigible. I’m also a pescatarian, in which I’ve read that the mercury contents from fish and seafood can negatively affect unborn babies. I can’t go through pregnancy, not just because they seem very uncomfortable to me, but also because of my diet, of my incorrigible habits, and of taking my daily medications that can potentially lead to doable miscarriages, whereas I am irrationally terrified of.
I’m very glad that I took the pledge of abstinence from sex. Chastity is one of the Seven Heavenly Virtues after all despite being agnostic. Ever since then, I symbolically wear a chastity belt as a way to abstain myself from any sexual activity. Honestly, I am very thankful for my medications for making me lose my libido. I’m better off being asexual and I am not ashamed of it. I don’t need sex after all, unlike those attention-whore celebrities and social media personalities.
Overall, my unconventional life is all about remaining single, abstinent, and child-free. I don’t need marriage or kids to complete me. I am proud of my personal choice to live unconventionally. I don’t need to follow other people’s traditions to keep me sanguine. I am very fine with it all.
My main impression is to let people all over the world to know that I don’t need to get married or have kids to be successful. Everyone has their own choices to make, and I have made mines exactly the way I wanted it to be.
Hopefully, people will respect my unconventional choices as long as they do not pressure me to conform with the rest of others and vice versa.
My advice is:
Do not pressure yourself as peer pressure can reap what you sowed.